Docibilitas
So one of the most important lessons that I had in seminary came actually on my first day. I had been discerning priesthood and seminary for a year and I had been a catechist at my home parish for four years. And I felt confident going into seminary. I knew my faith, or at least I thought so, and I was sure that I could handle seminary. That was until I was handed a Basic Catholicism 101 test.
It had questions like: Name the 10 commandments… in order. What are the names of the twelve apostles? What do you call the vestments that the priest wear, or the vestments that the deacon wears? What is a corporal, what is thurible? What is the epiclesis? What are the precepts of the Catholic Church? Name all the mysteries of the rosary. And that was just the first page.
Needless to say, my ignorance quickly showed. I never got the score of my test, but given that less than half of the test was filled out, I’m sure it wasn’t good. That day I learned an important lesson: I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know everything… actually, I knew very little of my faith.
As a side note, our faith is more than just knowing things… But still, what I learned from this experience is this: I still had much to learn. God still had much to teach me.
What I learned that day is “docibilitas”.
Docibilitas can be translated literally as “docility” or the openness or willingness to be taught.
So what does this have to do with today’s readings? Well I want to say that all the readings, in some way, point to this need for an attitude of docility: an attitude of openness to being taught. In the first reading, we hear the complaint that, “The LORD’s way is not fair!” I would venture to say that this is still a common complaint of many people.
“It’s not fair that I can’t get a divorce and remarry. It’s not fair that since I remarry I cannot receive the Eucharist. It’s not fair that I am born with this attraction and cannot marry. It’s not fair that in order to become a priest I have to be celibate. It’s not fair that I can’t have this abortion and I have to raise this child... The LORD’s way is not fair!”
We have in our mind our own personal beliefs and views of certain things. And then we look for validation from God. If what the Church teaches, what God calls us to do aligns with our own thought and our way of life, we accept it. But if it doesn’t, we question it and even say that it is not fair and do our own thing.
We want the Church and God to change its beliefs to match our own. When as Christians we should be doing the opposite. God wants to change our lives, God wants to change our minds. St. Paul says today, “complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love.” We need docibilitas. We need God to teach us and mold the way we think and see the world. We need to approach God in humility and realize that perhaps I don’t know or understand it all. That perhaps the way I want to live is not the best way. That in my own weakness and human limitations, I could be wrong.
I could be wrong. Perhaps I don’t know everything I thought I did. Perhaps, perhaps there’s still more I can learn. Perhaps it’s not God and the Church that needs to change but my own attitude and thoughts. Perhaps God can still teach me something true, good and beautiful.
I think this is what is behind the Gospel parable that Jesus gives today. The first son tells the father, “No” to going out and working in the vineyard. It’s not in his plans or it’s not what he wants to do. But then he changes his mind and goes. While the second son says, “Yes sir” but doesn’t go. The first son, although at first rejecting what the Father commanded, was willing to change his own mind. He was willing to be taught. Perhaps what he thought was best for him, was not really good. Perhaps the way he was living his life was not the best way. Perhaps the Father new best and he still had more to learn from his father. The second son, on the other hand doesn’t change his mind or his life at all, instead he simply nods his head and continues doing what he thinks is best for himself.
If I’m honest with myself, there are times when I am the first son, and other times that I am the second son. Sometimes, in the morning before I had my coffee, God tells me to get up and spend time with Him, and I’m like “nooooo…” but then I change my mind and get up pray. Other times, I’m like ok I’m going to go home and pray for a little bit but then when I get home and I see the TV, I think to myself, “Perhaps I’ll watch some TV/Netflix first. I can pray later.”
My brothers and sisters, what we do or don’t do matters. In fact, it is a matter of eternal life and death! The Lord says in the first reading, “Is it my way that is unfair, or rather, are not your ways unfair? When someone virtuous turns away from virtue to commit iniquity, and dies, it is because of the iniquity [it is because of the sin] he committed that he must die. But if he turns from the wickedness he has committed, and does what is right and just, he shall preserve his life; since he has turned away from all the sins that he has committed, he shall surely live, he shall not die.”
God wants you to be filled with life! He doesn’t want you to die. Jesus says (in John 10 and 15), “I came that you may have life and have it abundantly… I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” The question for us today is this: Am I truly open to God so that he can still teach me and continue to form me in every moment of my life? Or will I simply just go on living the way I want to live? Will you choose the Lord’s way or will you stick to your own way of life? Will you choose life or death?
